W: Lincoln. There was so much mud!
J: Yeah, but it was also really…
W: Filled with mud!
J: A lot of that was the blood of Civil War soldie…
J: Ok. Let’s move on to Les MIs. Lincoln was longer, but I didn’t look at my watch half as often as I did in that freaking musical.
W: Also lots of mud!
J: Wilbur! Let me fucking talk about the movies, ok? And the craziness of going to the theater on Christmas Day, by myself…
J: Ok. With my stuffed animal. Is that less crazy?
J: Anyway…with my stuffed animal, in sweat pants, un-showered, while happy families filled in around me. Us. Remember? We got there early and sat in the middle and by the time the movie started we were completely trapped in a sea of cheery families. Not to mention the fact that the movie was awful. Lincoln was great. Let’s talk about Beasts of the Southern Wild.
W: Gasps. Hyperventilates…So…much…mud!
J: I met that pig. I was in charge of that pig while on set.
W: What!? You never told me!
J: No shit.
W: Do you have her number?
W: No…I can’t go on. I’m gonna go. I’m getting too hot in here.
J: Yeah, you should probably leave.
W: Talk to your people about Depression and how going to the movies helped break the cycle of isolation.
J: Will do, Doc W.
W: Hey. I’m only looking out for you. Reminding you what’s important.
J: You mean it’s not all about the mud?
W: Shut up.
J: Go play outside.
W: Remember to mention that winter is a tough time for people. Not just depressed people. The stress of holidays and coldness and stuff.
J: Well, you pretty much just did that. But I’ll add movies also help connect to the little girl inside me. And that’s part of the healing process. A lot of growing up has to do with being our own parent. Many of the shades of my sadness come from that younger Julia. I remember feeling sad and disconnected back then. So, movies have helped in that sense.
Before this holiday season, I hadn’t gone to the movies in years. And since December, I’ve seen ten. Wearing sweatpants to each. Sometimes I wear earrings and eyeliner. The point is, that as a lone wolf who skirts the edges of recluse-status, I have added a new, safe behavior.
Just like using affirmations to decrease negative self-talk, adding nourishing behaviors to decrease negative ones is easier than trying to stop those habits.
W: So, I should ADD talking about food scraps, so I'm not talking about mud all the time?
J: ....Something like that.
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